Momisms and other oddities

I always mean to post these around Mother's Day, but I never get around to it. Time and tide wait for no bozo, so I'll put the ones I have here from all my little scraps of paper.

Mom had a unique view of the world, to say the least.





Scrub before surgery (wash your hands before baking).

He's got a wild hair (usually other drivers but could be anyone who was acting overly aggressively).

Good gummers (one of those ploys to get small children to eat their food).

The hanging kind (droopy women).

I'm no ordinary dummy (she was in fact quite smart and crafty in all ways).

Some people's children...(always her own, when acting badly)

Buy em books and buy em books and all they do is chew the covers (mom's way of saying you're being stoopid)

Taking the chicken route ( in later years she didn't see street signs well and didn't like heavier traffic so she had a set of backroads to take everywhere).

Good enough for who it's for (meaning good enough for you...)

Stroopapeta (one of the words from German or Norwegian she knew, no idea of the spelling..this was someone with messy messy hair, aka me.)

Fight de gout (a concoction of white sauce with brown sugar on bread, meant to fight gout amongst the oldsters. Very sugary and tasty).

Shower, shit and shave (gotten from dad in his army days, I'm sure. Just one of those encouraging get moving phrases moms pick up.)

Don't make a meal of it (eight kids, not always enough food to go around, just take your share)

Don't be a Good Samaritan (Don't go over to a friends house and clean their room...don't ask)

Beauty must suffer (while she cut or combed my unruly hair)

Somebody always knows somebody who knows somebody...(if there was a local grisly murder, one of the kids always knew someone who knew the victim or perp, was her thinking)

She has a mouthful of teeth (people with large, prominent teeth)

Take two, they're small (another way of letting you know you're being a hog, or, it could actually mean a serving was very small in her eyes.)

Down in front! (lots of people watching tv seated on the floor who might be in everyone else's way.)

I just don't live right (when she was discouraged, she felt this was the cause)

I'm just going to buy a cow (hard to keep a supply of milk for eight kids)

When my ship comes in (she had many plots for making money or becoming famous for her arts and crafts.)

The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray (classic stuff to make you feel better when things went poorly)

When one door closes another door opens (I certainly heard this alot from her, there's always some other opportunity ahead).

Everybody and their brother (big crowd)

This too shall pass (thank heavens she was right on this one)

Heard tell ( I heard tell...letting you know she already knew all about something)

Where you born in a barn? (Don't leave the door open)

After me, then you come first (putting you in your proper place, eh?)

One side or a leg off! ( Don't get in mom's way!)

Better than a sharp stick in the eye (accept things as they are)

Make do (with what you have)

We'll see...(no and just stop bugging me)

See, Stew? (You get it? or Just Do it!)

Shaking like a leaf (We Leary's all try to appear calm but sometimes our body betrays us and we shake from the inside out)

Shaking like a dog sh*tting pea seeds (no idea what a pea seed is but this is when you're REALLY shaking inside and out).

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Where there's life, there's hope (sometimes used inspiringly, sometimes snarkily)

See America Accidentally! (getting lost or taking those Chicken Routes will allow you to see America accidentally)

Don't get your shorts in a bind